My physio suggested I swim a few times a week to strengthen my knee. “Just start with 800m or so” he said…. Pffffft! That’s like telling a newbie runner to “just start with 15km, and see how you go” hahaha… My friend Nat has been busting out some impressive laps recently so I felt inspired and I finally got some time to get into the pool on Monday. As I stood next to the steps I had a horrendous thought that even the “slow” lane was going too fast for me. I stood at the steps wondering if it was acceptable to swim in the “walking” lane if you were indeed only swimming at walking speed. In the end I opted for the “slow” lane as it suddenly became completely empty… Here’s what I learnt about me and swimming:
- In my mind, swimming any distance less than 1km is not bragworthy. It’s like bragging you’ve just run 1.5km. Why even bother? And of course you can’t do any kind of exercise without bragging or it doesn’t count, so rule #1 was: Must Swim 1 Kilometre.
- After swimming one 25m lap I realised that 1km was going to be a fucking long way. 40 x 25m laps. F. M. L.
- I am not capable of concentrating on more than one body part at a time in an attempt to improve my technique. For example, while focussing on better arm movement, my legs all but stopped kicking, when kicking furiously with my legs I managed to inhale a whole mouthful of water because I was not focussed on my breathing. Ha! So, it’s either all arms no legs or vice versa and at any given time my breathing might just cease for a moment due to water intake #failmuch
- I am not an Olympic level swimmer, much to my disappointment really. It doesn’t look that hard.
- As I pushed off into some impressive “I’ve not done this since year 6″ backstroke, I realised, I can’t backstroke in any kind of straight line. OMG. For years I’ve laughed at the twins for zig zagging all over the lanes at squad and here I am, first time in 20 years (and I think first time ever in a swimming pool rather than at the beach) and I got I dunno, not even halfway (so, 12m or so) before I had to make an agonising decision: Complete the dodgy half drowning zig zagging lap of backstroke (with my audience of walkers in the next lane no doubt laughing at me) or roll over and complete the lap freestyle (with my audience of walkers in the next land no doubt laughing at me). F. M. L. I opted for the freestyle. #forgetbackstroke
- Said “walkers” will laugh at you when you inhale water accidentally and come up in a coughing fit.
- When wearing your kid’s goggles inevitably they are not going be a perfect fit. When you take them off you don’t realise (until it’s way too late) that you have serious goggle rings imprinted around your eyes #sexy
So I managed 1 entire kilometre. Jeeeeez it doesn’t even sound like much. It took me almost an hour. So, I actually swim 10 times slower than I can run. TEN TIMES SLOWER! Ha! What a champ. Of course all my arm muscles are screaming today, but not my leg muscles. Go figure, I must have spent more time focussing on my arms.
I have physio this morning. I am not expecting any good news.